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“Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.”
~~Lily Tomlin
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“You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being
a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears. ~~Geri Jewell
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“A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a
car.” ~~Carrie Snow
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“Life looks so much better through Margarita filled glasses.”
~~Barb Busi
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“Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your
girlfriends.”
~~Laurie Kuslansky
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“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being
hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.” ~~Erma Bombeck
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“Old age ain't no place for sissies.” ~~Bette Davis
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“A good education can open many doors, but big boobs can knock
them down.” ~~Amanda Iacona
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“A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what
he can't.” ~~Rhonda Hansome
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“The
phrase "working mother" is redundant…” ~~Jane Sellman
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“Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the
windows.”
~~Jennifer Unlimited
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“Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be
thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” ~~Charlotte Whitton
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“My best advice for raising children? Just have girls. My best
housekeeping advice? Never wash clothes with a wringer washer, naked.” ~~Betty Iacona
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“Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your
body starts falling apart.” ~~Caryn Leschen
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“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack
me at once.” ~~Jennifer Unlimited
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“Giving birth is like being hit in crotch with a sledge hammer.”
~~Bonnie Stock
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“If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a
horrible warning.” ~~Catherine Aird
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“I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm
not dumb ~~ and I'm also not blonde.” ~~Dolly Parton
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“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever
see a smart woman with a dumb guy.” ~~Erica Jong
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“If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.”
~~Sue Grafton
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“I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.”
~~Roseanne Barr
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“I think~~-therefore I'm single.” ~~Lizz Winstead
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“When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country.” ~~Elayne Boosler
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“Behind
every successful man is a surprised woman.” ~~Maryon Pearson
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man~~if you want anything
done, ask a woman.” ~~Margaret Thatcher
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“I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage
and a career.” ~~Gloria Steinem
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“I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets
at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comes home late every night.” ~~Marie Corelli
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“If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?” ~~Linda Ellerbee
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“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep
his house.”
~~Zsa Zsa Gabor
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“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.”
~~Eleanor Roosevelt
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“There's nothing like a good kidney stone to erase the memory of
childbirth.”
~~Debbi Conroy
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